Chapter Text
Book I
Chapter VIII: The Thai Cantina
“I tell you, HP. You cooking the stew way too long. Supposed cook right temperature, not activate smoke detectors.” “Anne, we Plantarks have always cooked this way! Our recipes are time honored traditions! Why, they’ve even been used on worlds across the galaxy!” “Because they use them poison enemies.” “Says who?!” “Says Sprig.” “Those are just rumors, and the boy knows it!”
Anne and Hop Pop were currently engaged in another one of their ‘discussions’ as they were attempting to cook dinner. Previously, the teen girl had stated that the Plantark patriarch’s cooking made her sick. Fed up with her complaining, Hop Pop dared her to do a better job, which led to Anne showing him how she and her family would cook back home. Of course, the old frog firmly believed that his family’s traditional recipes were impeachable, so he wasn’t exactly being the most cooperative student.
Right now, Hop Pop was trying to mince some vegetables, slowly cutting thick chunky slices. Anne, who was helping Sprig stir the stew, noticed that he had only managed to get through half of one mushroom and that there was still a pile of vegetables beside him. “Let me show you how done,” she said, motioning for him to step aside. She then took the knife and rapidly chopped the mushroom into tiny pieces with grace and ease. She used the knife to slide the diced mushroom off the cutting board into a small bowl, and then twirled the blade before setting it back down.
Sprig and Polly stared at Anne in awe, having never seen such skill with a knife before. Even Hop Pop was impressed, although he tried his hardest not to show it. She then motioned for Hop Pop to come over, handed him the knife, and guided his hand in slicing a gourd. “Wow, Anne! Where’d you learn to cut like that?” asked Sprig, as the human let the old frog try it on his own.
“My family owned restaurant, remember?” she responded, fishing her phone out of her pocket. She then sifted through multiple pictures of Domino (and Domino 2) before finding a photo of her parents’ restaurant and showed it to the Plantars. It was a small brick building with a red cover and a large sign on the front. It also had another ornate sign on a pole next to the building.
“Oh, yeah! I remember you talking about your family’s restaurant! What was it called again?” asked Sprig, scratching his head to try to remember the name of it. “Thai Go. It serve Thai food. I helped Mom and Dad run restaurant,” Anne explained. I hope they’re doing ok without me , she thought to herself, staring wistfully at the photo.
“Thai food?” Hop Pop inquired, raising one of his eye ridges. Anne nodded and explained: “My family Thai. My parents come to US from Thailand before I born.” “I thought you said you were from Earth,” said a confused Polly. “Based on what Anne shared with me, I don’t think Earth has one or two main cultures, or is ruled by one main government like most planets in the galaxy. It sounds like there are hundreds of nations, multiple forms of government, and countless cultures and tribes,” explained Sprig.
He then turned to Hop Pop and asked him: “Have you been able to find out anything else about Earth, Grandpa?” The orange frog shook his head and replied: “Not yet. I’ve been checkin’ every holobook we have on known planets in the galaxy. If I can’t find nothin’, we may havta make a trip to the archives to see if I can find some clues there. It may very be possible that this ‘Earth’ is some unexplored sector of Wild Space. Might explain a few things.” Sprig razzed at the idea of doing research at the archives. Honestly, the idea of exploring the galaxy to find Earth was a lot more appealing than spending all day reading stuffy holobooks in some boring old archives.
Just then, the smell of something burning caught their attention. “Um, Sprik, ain’t ya supposed ta be mindin’ the stew?” asked Hop Pop. “Uhh,” was all his grandson could say before the smoke sensors went off. “Dank ferrik, boy!” the older frog scolded as he rushed to the stove. Unfortunately, it was too late to save the stew, as it was reduced to a black liquid with the charred remains of vegetables floating in it. The group turned to glare at Sprig, who shrugged and chuckled sheepishly. “Well, looks like this meal is a bust,” sighed Hop Pop, stirring the remains of their stew.
“How about we eat out?” suggested Sprik, opening the windows to let out the smoke. “Great idea! Maybe we finally get decent food,” Anne agreed, as Hop Pop disposed of the ruined stew and cleaned out the pot. He turned to face Anne and pointed an accusing finger in her face, saying indignantly: “Now, see here, girl! This family may not have ever owned a restaurant, but that don’t mean that we can’t cook!” “That’s debatable,” mumbled Sprig under his breath to Polly, who snickered in response.
Finally, Hop Pop sighed and relented: “Well, I guess it’s too late to try to make anything else. Alright, let’s go to Stumpy’s.” The frogs started to clean up so they could get going. “If she thinks our food is bad, wait until she tries Stumpy’s,” Sprig whispered to his little sister, who once again chuckled a little. “What that?” asked Anne, which prompted the frog siblings to act innocent. “Nothing,” they said at the same time, although they cackled once the older girl was out of earshot.
Once they finished cleaning up their failed attempt at supper, the family made their way to Warwoo. They arrived at a large, dome-shaped, wooden structure that looked like it had seen better days. Several letters on the large and battered neon sign stationed above the doorway were flickering, with the first one completely out.
As the family entered the establishment, Anne discovered that the interior was in even worse shape than the exterior. It was absolutely filthy, with mold growing everywhere. The air was polluted with a foul stench that resulted in Anne exchanging her hunger for nausea. It was dimly lit, with most of the lights not even working anymore. The worn seats looked like they could collapse at any second and were covered with slime.
Yeesh. This place is NOT up to code. It looks like it shoulda been condemned YEARS ago , Anne mentally noted. As the Plantars were seated, Anne further examined this sad excuse for a ‘restaurant’. Wallap was passed out on the counter, whether from some heavy drinking or from food poisoning, the human could not determine. Heck, she thought she saw a frog skeleton sitting in the corner, still holding a spoon like it was about ready to put it in its mouth. Vermin scurried everywhere, helping themselves to the food from the patrons. Even they could not stomach the food, spitting it out as soon as they had sampled it. That could be the reason why the customers did not protest to their ‘food’ being pilfered.
Anne picked up one of the menus to see what passed as cuisine around here, but she struggled to read it. It wasn’t because she couldn’t read Aurebesh; at this point, she knew enough Basic that she could read most sentences. No, it was because the letters were so small that she had to squint to make them out. Oh man. The font on these menus is WAY too small. Rookie mistake , Anne observed, finally giving up and deciding to just have whatever the Plantarks were having.
A few moments later, a large, green, burly frog came over carrying four bowls of thick, green liquid that Anne could only assume was some kind of gruel. The frog in question was missing both of their arms and one of their legs. In the place of their hands were a spatula and a cleaver knife, and in place of their missing leg was a rusty metal peg. They were garbed in a white shirt and apron, brown pants, and a white hat, all of which were covered in grease stains. They had a lighter green underbelly, and their body was covered head to toe in scars. They also had an insect leg sticking out of their mouth.
The frog unceremoniously slid the bowls onto the table and said in a deep, gruff, masculine voice: “Here ya are. Four bowls of Stifling slop. Enjoy. Or don’t. Makes no difference to me.” “Thanks, Stumpy,” Sprig responded as the frogs started to dig into their meal. Ah, so this must be the owner. Anne could tell by the look on his face and the tone of his voice that this ‘Stumpy’ seemed to care very little about the state of his restaurant or what people thought of his food.
Anne had seen this before hundreds of times on restaurant makeover shows back home: the owner loses their passion for cooking and allows their restaurant to fall into disrepair and disrepute. As someone whose family restaurant had become a second home, it pained her to see someone who had strayed so far from the culinary straight and narrow.
While the Plantars slurped their gruel contently, Anne stuck her spoon into the thick glop and lifted it close to her nose. The smell alone made her want to gag, for it smelled like month old gym socks mixed with old cheese. She reluctantly stuck the glock into her mouth, and it took everything within her to not vomit. The teen girl grabbed her glass of water and chugged the whole thing down, groaning as the slop uncomfortably sloshed around in her stomach.
Seriously, this made Hop Pop’s cooking look like five star cuisine! How could this town have such low standards when it came to cooking?! Anne may not know anything about farming or the technology on this planet. She may not be the most fluent in Basic. But in her opinion, if there is one thing that should be universal, it should be good cooking!
While Anne was stewing over the bad stew, a green reptilian being with pointy ears, big black eyes, a pair of twitching antennae, and a small, pointy snoot was waving Stumpy over to their table. The frog stopped at the table, put his 'hands' on his hips, and said in a deadpan tone of voice: “There be a problem, sir?” The creature held his plate in front of the amphibian and replied: “Um yes, tell me, what exactly is this?”
The dish in question was suspiciously similar to a grey sponge with various fungi growing out of it. Stumpy shrugged and replied: “Honestly, I’m not exactly sure meself. I just threw a bunch of stuff together to see what would happen.” “Well,” the green being said, standing up and looking down at the frog: “I call it a disgrace to the culinary arts! I mean, how hard is it to run a restaurant anyways?! You just put food on tables! A protocol droid could do it!...”
Meanwhile, Anne had turned to listen in on their conversation, watching the lizard man rant ad nauseam while Stumpy just stood there, not saying anything. With a groan, she turned to Sprig and asked: “Who that jerk? And why he no be quiet?” The boy examined the ‘jerk’ in question and answered her: “That is Albo Ducee. He’s a Rodian who writes food reviews for his blog on the Holonet. He’s one of the galaxy’s most famous food critics.” “Blah! He thinks he’s better than everyone else just because he talks good,” Polly remarked, her mouth smeared with slop. “It’s true,” Hop Pop agreed as he casually stirred his gruel.
Ugh, a foodie. He’s just like those know-it-alls back home who like to talk crap about Thai Go. Just LISTENING to him is driving me crazy! Anne thought as Ducee’s ravings made her want to tear her hair out! Sure, this restaurant was certainly far from high end cuisine, or heck, even passable hole-in-the-wall fare, but this guy didn’t seem interested in offering criticism that could help Stumpy improve. He was just like that creepy food critic in that movie where a rat dreamed of becoming a famous chef, putting down restaurants just so he could make himself sound important and impress others. If anything, Stumpy looked even more depressed and discouraged as he listened to Ducee chew him out.
“I no take this anymore!” Anne cried, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration. “Anne, just ignore it and enjoy yer Stifling gruel,” said Hop Pop, not looking up from his bowl. Then, he noticed that the girl was no longer in her seat. “Anne?” he asked, having a nagging suspicion as to where she went.
Sure enough, Anne marched over to Ducee and Stumpy as the Rodian continued to berate him: “I mean, seriously, look at this place!” “Hey, leave him alone. Running restaurant hard,” she said to the reptilian. “Kid, what are ya doing?” asked Stumpy nervously. “Ha! You barely speak Basic and don’t know anything about holo technology! What do you know about running a restaurant?” Ducee retorted, staring at the girl with his dark, sparkling eyes.
The girl shuddered a little, unnerved at his alien face, before regaining her nerve and responding: “Well, what lizard man know? My parents ran restaurant.” “Well, if your parents are anything like you, I’m sure their restaurant was terrible!” the Rodian replied, his antennae twitching. That did it. Insult her family’s culinary legacy, will he?! Well, now it was personal!
“Oh yeah? Well, you come here in five rotations and I help fix this restaurant,” Anne said, grabbing the Rodian by the arm and guiding him to the exit. “I, uh, I beg yer pardon, what?” Stumpy stuttered, not liking where this was going. Ducee grabbed the napkin which was wrapped around his neck and crumpled it into a ball, saying: “Oh, a wager, is it? Fine, I’ll be back in five rotations. Looking forward to writing my review and shutting this place down!” He then tossed the napkin on the floor and stormed out of the restaurant.
The gobsmacked cook turned to Anne and shouted: “Kid, what have ya done?! That man has followers all over the galaxy! One bad review from him and we’re finished!” Oh boy, he’s got a point there, thought Anne, realizing that she may have let her ego get the best of her. Still, there was no turning back now, especially with the Boonchuy family pride on the line. “Sorry, Stumpy, but we do this! What you say?” she said, trying her best to remain confident. “I say…ya just put me out of business. Bound to happen eventually, I suppose,” Stumpy moaned as he sulked off.
“Anne, did you really just promise to save this restaurant?” “In five rotations?” “By yourself?!” said Hop Pop, Sprig, and Polly, respectively. “Yep, that just happened,” Anne responded, mentally kicking herself for being so rash. “Anne, Stumpy’s family has been runnin’ this dining establishment since I was a pollywog! It’s been a staple of this community for years! What makes ya think that you can fix it?” Hop Pop demanded.
The human girl motioned to the whole room and replied: “Hop Pop, have you seen place? It absolutely disgusting! And you seen Stumpy? He looks like he no care anymore! Restaurant gonna close either way. I should try and do something .” “Alright. Mark my words, though. No good will come of messing with tradition. No good at all,” Hop Pop remarked, sticking his finger in the air to accent his point.
Anne shook her head. That man was so obsessed with ‘the old ways’. Could he not see that this place was on its last legs? Well, she would show him and that snooty critic. She was gonna save this restaurant and show this town what good food should look and taste like! However, as she scanned the dilapidated state of the restaurant, she realized that fixing this dump up all by herself would be a tall order…
“Ugh, it take army to fix this place,” moaned Anne, sitting in one of the booths and putting her head in her hands. Sprig put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and said: “Don’t worry Anne, I’ll help you!” Polly shrugged and said: “Eh, count me in too. I’ve got nothing else to do.” Anne turned to the frog children and smiled gratefully at them. “Thanks, guys. Now, let go home and rest! We got big day tomorrow!” she said, standing up and pumping her fist. The children cheered. Hop Pop just merely shook his head in response. Well, while those three are busy with their fool's errand, maybe I can do a little research and try ta find out more about this ‘Earth’, he decided. The family rushed home so they could turn in early, wanting to get up before dawn tomorrow so they could get a head start on their respective missions.
Xxxxxx
The sky was still dark when Hop Pop was awoken by the sound of clattering. He threw on a robe and went to see what the ruckus was. He discovered that Anne, Sprig, and Polly were gathering all the cleaning supplies they could find and loading it into a small repulsorlift cart outside. The old frog rolled his eyes. If only they were this enthusiastic about their chores as they were about this futile ‘project’ of theirs. He watched as the kids finished loading up and started to make their way to Stumpy’s.
Hop Pop turned to Domino 2, or ‘Domino Twooka’ as they sometimes called her, who was napping on the couch. “Well, at least I have enough quiet to get a little readin’ done,” he said. The old frog made a pot of Yorra caf, then went to the bookshelf to look for holobooks on little known parts of the galaxy. As he grabbed a few titles, he noticed the holobook with the beings levitating rocks was sitting on his desk. He had been so busy researching to try to find out where Anne was from that he had completely forgotten about it. While he knew it probably wouldn’t have the answers he was looking for, after the events of their camping trip, something told him that he should start with this one. He sat in his chair, activated it and started reading.
Xxxxxx
A sliver of the sun was just barely visible when the kids arrived outside the gates of Warwoo. Anne had been unable to sleep the night before, being too excited and eager to get started on Stumpy’s renovation and rehabilitation. In her mind, it would be just like those cooking renovation shows on TV where they took a failing restaurant and completely turned it around. Therefore, she was the first to get out of bed, ready to work.
Just as soon as the group had walked into town, Sprig lifted up his hand to bring the caravan to a halt. “What wrong?” asked Anne, only to be shushed by the frog boy. “Something’s not right here,” he said, grabbing a broom from the cart to use as a weapon. Anne tried to see if she could sense any intruders, but she wasn’t picking up any hostiles. Just tension and apprehension from Sprig and Polly. Wait a minute, she was getting something…
“AMBUSH!!!” The cry snapped Anne out of her thoughts as something pounced into Sprig, sending them both rolling. When the dust had settled, there was a yellow frog child sitting on top of Sprig. He didn’t appear to be harmed, however. Instead, he was laughing with his assailant.
“Hey, Ivia. Nice ambush. You got me good,” said Sprig, as the other frog child stood and helped him up. “Can’t take all the credit. You’re really easy to trick,” said Ivia. “Eh, guilty as charged. Oh, I don’t know if I introduced you to Anne yet. Ivia, meet Anne, our ‘First Order spy'. Anne, meet Ivia. Childhood acquaintance and Admiral," the pink frog said as he saluted the yellow frog.
Ivia saluted him back and then walked over to shake Anne’s hand. “Nice to officially meet. Do you like being randomly attacked?” she asked, drawing the older girl in closer on the last sentence. “Nope!” was the human’s reply. Ivia shrugged and said: “Well, too bad.”
Ignoring Anne’s unnerved reaction, Ivia turned to Sprig and said: “So, what are you doing up so early?” “We’re going to help Stumpy save his restaurant. What about you? Let me guess, trying to get away from your mom getting on your case again?” he said. The frog girl heaved an exasperated sigh and nodded.
“Yeah. Every day it’s the same: she complains if there’s the slightest speck of dirt on the dishes, if the necks on the Alderaanian swan napkins aren’t completely straight, you know the drill. It’s so annoying!” she groaned, throwing her hands up in the air for dramatic emphasis. “Well, since your Mom makes you help out at the tea shop, you must know something about running a restaurant. Do you want to help us out? We could really use you,” said Sprig. Ivia thought it over for a bit, then replied: “Well, if you're doing it, sure. Besides, it would be nice to have a break from mom’s nagging. After all, she wouldn’t think of looking for me in another restaurant.”
“Yay!” exclaimed Sprig in delight. Ivia ran over to Sprig’s side, and the group made their way to Stumpy’s. When they arrived, Anne knocked on the door. The door slid open to reveal a slightly annoyed Stumpy. “I ain’t open yet, ya know,” he said, before adding under his breath: “Don’t know how much longer I will be open, at any rate.” “Stumpy, today start restaurant new chapter,” said Anne, practically jumping up and down in one spot. “Are you ready to beat that critic?!” exclaimed Ivia, pumping her fist enthusiastically.
Stumpy simply stared impassively at the children, then closed the door. He was about ready to walk away when he heard more knocking. He groaned and opened the door once more. Sure enough, the younglings were still there. “Creepy kids,” he muttered. It was clear that they were not going toleave, so he decided that he had no choice but to humor them.
The young group waltzed right in and started to unload their supplies. Anne looked around and said: “So, what you wanna start? Change menu? Redecorate?” Just then, the ceiling cracked and slime seeped in through the fissure, coating the girl with green goop. “Burn place to ground and start over…?” she said in response.
“Look, kids. Yer on yer own. Do whatever you want. It’s not gonna make a difference in the end, anyway,” said Stumpy. “Oh, that where you wrong,” replied Anne, snapping on rubber gloves. The older frog just shook his head in resignation and indifference and went into the kitchen.
“Alright, let us get started! I mop room. Sprig clean walls and ceiling. Polly scrub counter. Ivy dust,” Anne ordered, grabbing a mop and bucket. The three younger frogs saluted and said: “Yes ma’am!!” “Ya know, we could use that cleaning droid that I’ve been working on..” Polly began, only to be dragged off by Sprig, who was saying: “Nonononononono….”
And with that, the four kids got to work with high spirits and enthusiasm. However, getting this restaurant to look presentable was no small feat. The kids scrubbed and scoured to remove the slime and filth that had accumulated over the years. They were constantly dragging enormous garbage bags outside, some of which swelled to the point of exploding on their unfortunate bearers. When the time came to clean out the conservator, they ended up wearing air filtration masks as they tossed out food that was most likely years beyond their expiration dates.
However, none of this dampened Anne Boonchuy’s spirits, no siree. After all, she was going to turn this restaurant around or die trying. Meanwhile, Stumpy merely observed with a disinterested expression at first. He had no idea why these crazy kids were wasting time on a lost cause. But after a while, he had to admit, their determination was admirable. In fact, this was the most anyone cared about his restaurant in years! Eventually, against his better judgment, he found himself pitching in to help the kids.
By the end of the first rotation, they had made considerable progress in cleaning! The frogs and the human waved goodbye to Stumpy as they set for home, eager to get some rest so they could keep working the next morning! Hop Pop was so engrossed in reading that he failed to notice the kids returning. That is, until he caught wind of a foul stench, like something had died and been left to rot. He looked up from his holobook to find his kids covered in slime and filth.
“Bellowin’ banthas! You kids look like you were sneezed on by a Hutt!” cried Hop Pop, pinching his snout. “Sorry, Grandpa. Cleaning Stumpy’s turned out to be a lot more work than we thought,” said Sprig. Polly jumped onto his head and said: “Oh yeah! It was awesome! Nothing like getting dirty!” Hop Pop shook his head at their seemingly fruitless endeavors.
Anne looked at the holobook Hop Pop was reading and asked: “What you reading?” The older frog stammered for a bit, then replied: “Oh well, I’m researching a potential lead. See it can tell us anythin’.” Sprig stared at the cover. It contained a mysterious looking robed figure. That certainly wasn’t invocative of space travel or other worlds. Then again, maybe whoever was on the cover was some explorer who traveled to far off planets. Shrugging it off, he joined Anne and Polly as they went upstairs to clean themselves up, leaving Hop Pop to his reading.
For the next couple of rotations, the kids went off to work with Stumpy while Hop Pop did his research. It was many hours of long, hard work, as they slowly cleared away the filth and debris that coated the place, but they were making progress. Polly was even able to fix the lighting without burning the place to the ground! Finally, by the third rotation, they beheld the fruits of their labors and teamwork, for the restaurant was no longer dingy and filthy, but clean and brightly lit!
Stumpy smiled as he took in the results of their combined efforts and said: “I gotta hand it to ya, kids. This place looks great! We even scrubbed the Wallap out! The critic is going to be blown away.” Anne laughed and replied: “‘Blown away’? No. All we done is mop floors and clean dishes. This place still house of broken dreams!” “Whaddya mean, kid? We made the place look good,” the frog said, confused. “Yes, the place looks good,” agreed Sprig, with Polly adding: “But that doesn't mean anything if the food isn’t fit enough to serve a droid.”
“Harsh, but on point,” Stumpy conceded with a shrug. “If we gonna impress critic, we got more work to do. We need complete transformation ,” Anne said, waving her hand through the air to emphasize her point. “Whaddya mean, like placemats?” the adult frog asked. “Bigger,” the human replied, then snapped her fingers.
In response, Sprig brought out some blueprints and laid it on a nearby table. Stumpy walked over to examine the plans. The design called for complete redo of both the interior and the exterior. It consisted of not only completely renovating the kitchen, but also changing the decor. “Hey, these designs kinda remind me of your parents' restaurant back home!” Sprig observed. Anne nodded, and then pulled a menu, saying: “Not only that, we need new menu. Time to feature something new, something revolutionary, something no one swamp ever seen.”
Stumpy studied the new menu, reading some of its items out loud: “‘Pad Thai’? ‘Tom yum’ ‘Larb’?" “It actually pronounced 'laap' ,” Anne corrected him. “I don’t know, Anne. This stuff is a bit…different from what folks ‘round here are used to. I’m not sure how they will respond to this kind of food,” said Stumpy, scratching his head with his spatula hand.
“Well, it have be better than Stifling slop,” Anne replied, sticking her tongue out at the very thought of the slop. “But I don’t think we even have most of these ingredients in these parts. We would have to make a lot of substitutions,” Stumpy replied. “Huh. Good point,” Anne admitted. Just then, Sprig raised his hand and suggested: “Hey, why not combine what the people of Warwoo are familiar with, like bugs, with Anne’s recipes?” “Yeah, the best of both worlds, literally!” added Ivia.
The two cooks thought over his proposal for a minute or two. Then, Anne said: “You mean fusion cuisine?” “I don’t know what that means, but sure!” said Sprig. The human girl snapped her fingers and said: “You guys geniuses!” “Sprik, a genius? Guess there’s a first time for everything,” said Polly, earning a dirty look from her older brother. “Sprig, Polly, and Ivy get work renovating. We try different things for different recipes, see what work and see what no work. What you say, Stumpy?” said Anne, turning to the frog chef. “I say…we give it a shot!” Stumpy declared, eliciting cheers from the kids.
With that, on the next rotation, they set off to work, the frog children with the makeover, Anne and Stumpy with experimenting. All of a sudden, the doors flew open, allowing mist to enter. A chill lingered in the air, despite it being warm and humid outside. The faintly green mist parted just enough to reveal a blue frog. They had a lighter blue underbelly and a large mass of pink hair on their head. Only one eye was visible, which was yellow and had a slit pupil. They were wearing a black robe or dress with a rope belt.
As Anne observed the frog, they turned to face Sprig. He noticeably shuddered when they did, as if the other frog was staring directly into his soul. The girl could feel a chill traveling down her own spine as she gazed upon the frog. When they looked in her direction, her heart stopped for a second at that unblinking, hollow eye.
“ Heeey, Stuuuuuumpy ,” they drawed in a raspy voice. The older frog gulped and replied: “Hehehe, hey there, Madi.” The creepy frog walked into the kitchen, carrying two large bundles of bread. “I’m here to deliver your bread order. How’s the makeover going?” they said, placing the delivery on the table. “It’s, it’s going,” said Sprig, twiddling his fingers nervously. “Well, from what I can tell, the place looks great. Keep up the good work guys,” said Madi.
They turned to Stumpy and said: “Have you considered my offer about the ritual?” “Um, well, I’d rather not, if that’s alright with ya. I get along just fine with me own prosthetics,” the larger frog replied. Madi shrugged and said: “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” They then turned to Sprig, who jumped, and said: “I’ve seen your death in my mind.” “Eh, I was kinda hoping it would be a surprise,” said a creeped out Sprig in reply, chuckling nervously. “It will be,” they whispered, to which all the pink frog could do was stare in horror.
Madi then turned and exited the building, the doors shutting with a loud bang that made the whole group jump. “Who that?” asked Anne as she watched the mysterious frog leave from the window. “That’s Madi Flor. She’s one of the daughters of the village baker,” said Sprig. “What this she ask about ‘ritual’?” Anne inquired further.
Stumpy looked from side to side, almost as if he was checking to see if anyone was listening, then leaned over to her and whispered: “Rumor has it, she’s a witch.” “Witch?! That thing here?!” exclaimed Anne. Sprig nodded. Ivia jumped onto Anne’s back and added while wiggling her fingers: “Every night, she sneaks off to her altar in the swamps just outside of Warwoo. Some say she’s offering up sacrifices. Others say she’s casting curses on some poor unfortunate soul. But if there’s one thing that everyone agrees on, it's that everyone should stay as far away from her as possible!”
Anne shuddered again at the description of Madi. So, creepy space witches are a thing here. Good to know , she thought. The gang were quick to dispel any creepy thoughts of the witch from their minds and returned to their work. After all, they had less than two rotations until the big reveal, and in order to impress Ducee, everything needed to be perfect….
Xxxxxx
Finally, the big day had come, the day of reckoning, the day when Ducee would review Stumpy’s restaurant. Hop Pop awoke with a start, having fallen asleep while reading his book. He then remembered that he had been up late reading while he was waiting for the kids, who didn’t come home last night. The old frog stood up and stretched, his joints snapping and his back cracking, and went to see if they were in their beds. Sure enough, they were not.
Those darn kids were probably out all night working at Stumpy’s , Hop Pop grumbled mentally. He looked up to see a piece of paper taped to his forehead. He ripped it off with a yelp, and discovered that it was a note explaining that they would be spending the night there so they could finish renovating in time for the grand reopening.
This darn project of theirs! He almost wished that it would fail miserably and that it would get a bad review from Ducee so that they could see what a waste of time it was! The only reason he didn’t is because that would mean the main eating establishment in town would go out of business.
Just as he was about to storm into the village, he heard a knock at the door. He walked over to answer, hoping it was the kids. Instead, he found his next door neighbor, Boglo, hovering in front of his door. The Toydarian was blue with a green underbelly and webbed feet. He had a trunk-like snout and tusk-like teeth. He was also wearing a brown shirt and a large yellow hat on his head.
“Good to see ya, Boglo! How’s the farm going?” said Hop Pop to the Toydarian farmer. “Itsa doing pretty well, Hopidi, all things considered. Taxes are-a putting a bit of a strain on the income, not to mention the rent being raised on the stands at the market,” Boglo replied, then continued: “Anyways, have ya heard about Stumpy’s?” “No, what about it?” Hop Pop replied.
Just then, a squeaking, nasal, mechanical voice piped up from Boglo’s cart: “You haven’t heard?! Stumpy’s been completely remodeled! You can hardly recognize the place anymore!” A beige droid, B-VF, popped his head out the cart, sporting a large straw hat that just barely allowed his eyes to peek out under the brim. He attempted to step out of the cart, but ended up falling out instead, tumbling onto the ground. “I meant to do that,” B-VF said, weakly pointing a finger in the air. Boglo laughed as he helped the droid up, then said: “Anyways, we were a headin’ into town to check it out. Ya wanna come with?”
Hop Pop sighed in defeat. “Well, might as well as see what all the fuss is about,” he said, hopping into Boglo’s hovercraft. B-VF also climbed into the cart and Boglo flew onto the seat. With a snap of the reins, their snirda set off for town.
Once they had arrived in Warwoo, they noticed that there was a long line which stretched all the way to Stumpy’s. “What in tarnation? The whole town must be here!” exclaimed Hop Pop. “Oh, great. Look at that line! We’re never gonna get a seat. I guess it doesn’t matter for me, anyways. Droids don’t eat,” said B-VF.
Just then, as Hop Pop gazed toward the front of the line, he could have sworn that he could see a familiar little purple speck standing at the entrance. As he squinted, he could confirm that it was indeed Polly. He hopped out of the cart and rushed over to the entrance of the restaurant, where Polly appeared to be stationed as some kind of bouncer.
When he arrived, the tadpole lifted up one of her tiny flippers. “Stop right there, old man! You’re not on the list,” said Polly, looking over a datapad. “Dank ferrik, girl! It’s me, yer grandfather!” cried an exasperated Hop Pop, having had enough of this foolishness. The pollywog scrolled through the list on the datapad and said: “Hmmm, let me see. Sorry, you're still not on the list.” He was about ready to protest when he looked up, gasping when he saw the new appearance of the restaurant.
There were fountains, lotus flowers, and strange lanterns everywhere. Why, even the entrance was different, having been remodeled to feature a large, triangular red roof! “Sweet moons of Gozgo! What have they done to this place?!” cried Hop Pop. Just then, Sprig came to the door and upon seeing his grandfather, exclaimed: “Grandpa! So glad you could make it! It’s ok, Polly. We can find a seat for him.”
Polly squinted at him, but decided to let her grandfather in. As the old frog stepped in, he found the inside was even less recognizable than the outside. Gone was the filth and decay, replaced with a clean, warmly lit, welcoming atmosphere. The place was adorned with flowers and lily pads. Exotic smells, unlike anything Hop Pop had ever smelled before, wafted in the air. And perhaps the most bizarre of all, the place was packed, with almost every available seat taken.
Just then, Anne walked up to Hop Pop, and he noticed that she was dressed differently. She wore a green skirt with diamond prints, a cream breast cloth that draped over her left shoulder, and a hair piece consisting of a chain of flowers. Another line of flowers formed a bracelet on her right wrist, with a separate chain of flowers hanging from the bracelet.
"สวัสคีค่ะ," the human teen said, folding her hands and bowing. Hop Pop had no idea what she just said. It sounded like some greeting in another language. However, it didn’t sound the language she spoke when Sprig first found her. Could it be another one of the languages that the people of ‘Earth’ spoke?
“Welcome Stumpy’s, Warwoo’s first Warwooian-Thai fusion restaurant! Now has napkins!” Anne continued, holding an elaborately folded napkin. “What?” stammered a flabbergasted Hop Pop. “I combine my family Thai recipes, Warwoo cuisine and make something new!” explained Anne, clearly excited. Just then, Ivia walked to him, saying, “This way, Mr. Plantark! We saved a seat for you.” The yellow frog led the orange frog to a booth and motioned for him to have a seat.
As Hop Pop took his seat, the frog examined the newly remodeled restaurant. He was surprised to discover that the people actually seemed to be enjoying the food. Not only that, but Anne was also surprisingly very good at running at a restaurant, as she went around topping off people’s drinks and making sure that everyone’s food was to their satisfaction.
He could then hear a conversation between Sadine Croka and Anne. “I’ll have the maggot larb. Did I say that right? ‘Larb’?” said Mrs. Croka as she gazed at the menu. “It’s actually pronounced ‘ laap ’,” explained Anne. “Well, how about that?! One foot in the grave and still learning new things!” Mrs. Croka happily declared.
Suddenly, he heard someone clear their throat right next to him. He turned to see Ivia standing there, waiting to take his order. “Oh, uh, right. Um, I guess I’ll have some iced tea and the uh, pad thai ?” “One Pad Thai and one iced tea, coming right up!” the frog girl exclaimed, rushing off to get his order. A few minutes later, Anne walked up to him with his meal. “Here, Hop Pop! One Pad Thai with flies!” she said, placing the dish in front of him.
Hop Pop stared the plate in front of him. It appeared to be some noodles mixed with flies, scrambled eggs, nuts, and vegetables. He sniffed it, then took a small bite. His mouth and tongue burned and his eyes watered from the spices. He coughed and gagged, then he reached for his tea to try to extinguish the fire in his mouth. What kind of poison is this?! I can’t feel my face! Why, this food…reminds me of my pain peppers! Hop Pop realized. He then proceeded to stuff his face full of the exotic cuisine.
As Anne passed by his table, Hop Pop remarked: “Say, Anne. This stuff is really good! Nothin’ like spicy food to get the adrenaline runnin’.” He then muttered mentally to himself: It justa occurred to me that I beena eatin’ garbage .
Meanwhile, a big grin flashed across Anne’s features. “You like food?!” she exclaimed excitedly. Realizing what he had just said, Hop Pop attempted to save face: “Well, I mean- I guess it’s ok. It’s not the best food I’ve ever tasted, but I gotta admit, maybe there’s some things I could learn from ya when it comes to cookin’.” “Oh yeah! Score one for Anne!” the human girl cried out victoriously.
The old frog sighed in resignation and defeat. He was never gonna hear the end of this one, was he? He then shrugged and continued to devour his Pad Thai. Anne decided to let him enjoy his meal and join Stumpy at the order counter. As the frog cook placed completed dishes on the counter, he noticed that the restaurant was at full capacity, something that he had never seen before.
When Anne grabbed an order, he turned to face her and said: “I’ve never seen this place so packed! What-what’s this weird feeling in me chest? Am I going into cardiac arrest?” “That called ‘hope’. I think we got this. Even Hop Pop like it, and he stubborn about new foods. Ducee going be impressed,” said Anne in reply.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” a familiar nasally voice responded. Anne and Stumpy turned their attention to the source of that voice, which was coming from a strange looking frog. To their surprise, the frog unzipped themself, revealing none other than Ducee himself! Anne gasped and said: “It’s…” “Ducee! He’s here!” Stumpy finished for her.
The two rushed over to the Rodian critic, walking right past Mrs. Croka. “I have another question,” she said, only for the two chefs to ignore her. “Ok, great, see ya.” “Thanks for coming,” said Anne and Stumpy respectively.
“Ducee! What with disguise?” Anne asked, as Ducee finished taking off his costume. “Oh this? It’s kind of a critic thing,” he said in response. “Really?” the intrigued human asked. The man nodded and said: “If you knew it was me, you’d probably make it a little better just for me. But in a disguise, you’re gonna serve me just like anyone else.” “Oh, that clever,” Anne admitted, to which the Rodian voiced his thanks.
“So, you like food?” Anne asked. “Oh, right, no!” Ducee exclaimed, pounding the table for dramatic emphasis. “I found the experience had no cohesion, like one thing was clumsily grafted on top of another. And when I publish my review, your restaurant will be ruined!” he said, laughing maniacally. He then added gleefully: “I love my job.”
Trying desperately to maintain composure, Anne and Stumpy exchanged glances before the girl said: “Will…will you give us moment?” and then the duo rushed to the kitchen. As the human paced back and forth, Stumpy started to panic: “That’s it. It’s over. We’re finished! The second that review goes up on the Holonet, this restaurant goes down!” Anne slapped him across the face and said: “We do this! This call for drastic measures: my parents’ squid and basil special. No critic in town resist.” “Ok,” the frog responded, only for the teen to slap him again. “I already said ‘ok’!” he complained. “Sorry. Got over excited,” Anne apologized.
The two rushed outside, just stopping to talk to Ducee. “We got special dinner for you.” “Don’t go anywhere,” said Anne and Stumpy respectively. “Amusing. All right. I’ll play your little game,” the Rodian responded, twiddling his large, sticky fingers.
.
About a half an hour later, Anne and Stumpy were struggling to drag a huge squid called a krak inside the door. Once they were able to get it in, they wasted no time cooking the krak, or ‘kracken’ as Anne called it. Meanwhile, Ducee was impatiently checking his watch, waiting for his meal so he could justify his bad review of the restaurant. Just then, Anne and Stumpy appeared with a large dish on a hovercart. “Get ready for my parents’ best dish: squid and basil special,” said the human. She and Stumpy then placed it on the table and lifted the lid, revealing an enormous squid on a bed of basil leaves.
“Oh my! What an exotic selection!” exclaimed Ducee, eagerly grabbing his fork. Anne and Stumpy exchanged a wink. Just as he was about to dig in, the krak growled and awoke, revealing a flaming red eye with a slit pupil. It then grabbed Ducee and roared loudly.
Customers screamed and began running out of the restaurant, dodging tentacles that slithered towards them. An unlucky few managed to be ensnared by the writing appendages, including the Plantars. “Assassinating your critics! I love it!” cried Polly, before she, Sprig and Hop Pop were grabbed by the beast. “We’re under attack! Charge!” cried BV-F, grabbing a blaster and rushing into battle. However, he tripped and found himself in the clutches of the kraken. Anne and Stumpy were just barely able to avoid being snatched by hiding behind the counter.
The two peeked out slightly, only for them to see the krak roaring as its prey squirmed in its grip. “Oh, dank ferrik! I forgot that the krak can go into suspended animation for long periods of time! We must have awoken the squid when we cooked it!” cried Stumpy. Anne moaned and said: “This disaster! I should no made dumb wager.” The old frog put his spatula prosthetic on her shoulder and said: “Anne, calm down. Maybe we can’t save this restaurant, but we sure can save those people’s lives. Whaddya say?” “I say…we crush calamari!” she cried out excitedly. “What’s a calamari?” asked Stumpy. “No time, explain later!” the Thai girl replied.
Anne poked her head up to see if there was anything they could use to fight the krak. She saw a large lemon, or at least, she thought it was a lemon, sticking out of a tea that had been left on the counter. “I got idea!” she cried out, only for her to realize that she had attracted the attention of the monster squid. She and Stumpy jumped out of the way as a tentacle came crashing down onto the counter, pulverizing it.
As Stumpy stared at the roaring krak, he pulled out his frying pan prosthetic with his mouth, and then replaced it with one that resembled the barrel of a blaster. He shot a couple of volleys at it, but it only proceeded to anger it even further. It spit out a stream of ink at the large frog, knocking him on his back. He licked some of the ink off, surprised to find that it was actually delicious.
Meanwhile, Anne was busy dodging dishes being thrown by the kraken, desperately looking for the lemon. When she found it next to Stumpy, she turned to him and cried out: “Stumpy, lemon!” The older amphibian turned to face the fruit. “Coming right up!” he said, flipping it to her with his spatula prosthetic. Anne grabbed the lemon, and squirted its juice into the eye of the krak.
The squid screamed as the acidic juice stung its eye, temporarily blinding it. It was able to regain its sight after a few seconds, but the last thing it would ever see was a red beam of light heading straight towards its face. It then fell over with a large crash that shook the restaurant.
As the dust settled, the remaining patrons slowly and cautiously crawled from their hiding places to see if the fallen krak was truly dead. B-VF walked up to it, and after a few minutes, said: “Yeah, I’m not picking up any life readings. I don’t think this thing’s getting back up.” A wave of relief washed over everyone as relieved sighs resounded through the restaurant.
Anne turned to Ducee, who had a black eye as a result from the whole affair, and said: “So, Ducee. Guess you got write bad review, huh?” “Bad? BAD?! That was incredible! A food that tries to eat you?! The irony, the ecstasy! I simply must tell everyone on the Holonet!” he said, furiously typing away his review. Everybody applauded to congratulate Anne and Stumpy on their success. “You go, girl!” “Go, Anne!” “She lives in my basem*nt!” Sprig, Polly, and Hop Pop said respectively.
Anne then turned to Sprig and asked: “What ‘Holonet’?” “It’s a communication network! You get information from all across the galaxy!” the pink frog explained. He pulled out a tablet and showed the girl Ducee’s review, which he had just posted. Huh. It sounds just like the internet. Wonder if they have cute tooka videos? Anne observed. She then stared at her own phone, which said “No signal”, and sighed. She was going to have to risk Polly blowing up her phone to see if she could connect it to the networks around her.
As people began to leave the wrecked restaurant, Anne stated: “Well, guess we better clean. Again ,” which earned groans from Sprig, Polly, and Ivia. She then turned to Stumpy and said: “Stumpy, I sorry about this. I took things too great distance.”
The frog cook shook his head and said: “No way, Anne! This whole thing was a big success. You even convinced this old grump to actually care. If your parents could see this, I’m sure they’d be proud.” Touched by this compliment, Anne smiled and said: “Thanks, Stumpy.” The two then proceeded to shake hands. “Wow, this feel nice. What kind wood is this?” Anne asked, as she rubbed her hands against the smooth texture of his spatula. “It’s carved from the bones of me missing hand,” Stumpy replied, which sent a shiver down the human girl’s spine.
Later that evening, after the kids had finished cleaning up the mess from the krak squid battle, the family relaxed at home, wanting to unwind after a long week. Anne noticed that Hop Pop was still reading his holobooks. She walked over to his chair and said: “Still researching?” He jumped a little, having been so engrossed in his reading that he did not hear her coming. After recovering, Hop Pop nodded and said: “Yeah. Still trying to figure out more about where this ‘Earth’ is. Not gettin’ anywhere though. If only I had some kinda clue.”
The girl was silent for a moment, as if she was debating on whether to share something with him or not. Finally, she sighed and said: “I have something that help.” She then went into the basem*nt. Intrigued, Sprig and Polly walked over to Hop Pop’s chair, all three of them waiting to see what she would bring up.
Eventually, Anne climbed out of the basem*nt, holding something wrapped up in a cloth in her hands. She walked over to the kitchen table, motioning for the frogs to come over. “We been through much, so now I want to share this,” she said with a serious tone of voice. The Plantars, realizing that she was sharing something important with them, gave her their undivided attention.
Anne slowly unwrapped the cloth to reveal an ornate, silver chest, saying: “This how I got here.” The frogs stared in awe at the box, taking in its beauty. “Shiny!” declared Sprig, desperately wanting to touch it. “It some crazy music box. You guys see anything like it?”
Hop Pop scratched his chin area in thought, then pointed to the box and said: “May I?” Anne nodded and said: “Sure, but it no work.” The frog grandfather observed the box carefully, opening and closing it, even smelling it. After a minute or two, he said: “Nope! Ain’t never seen anything like it.”
Anne sighed heavily, slumping onto the table in defeat. “Anne, I promise…we’re gonna find a way to get you home,” said Sprig, placing a comforting hand on the human’s shoulder. She turned to the frog boy and smiled, saying: “Thanks, Sprig.” Just then, Hop Pop yawned loudly and declared: “Well, that's enough excitement for me today. I think I’m gonna turn in.” The kids all said good night as the old frog went into his room.
He made sure the door was closed behind him, then rushed to open the holobook he had been reading. He hesitated a little before flipping over to a certain section. Holographic images of sentients dashed in front of him, fleeing and barely escaping pinging red bolts of light. Some of them drew out brightly colored lasers of their own to deflect the bolts. There were also some unfortunate ones who fell victim to the lasers, collapsing to the ground only to rise no more.
Hop Pop shuddered, and almost wanted to stop then and there. But he forced himself to keep going until he reached a certain illustration. It was of a silver chest, one that looked exactly like the one that Anne had just shown him. Hop Pop gasped, and then said solemnly: “It’s just as I feared.” He observed the picture of the box and then read its foreboding description:
